A positive outlook on envy

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It has been a common factor between all of us growing up; that we're taught of all the sins that we could commit: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. However, it is nothing but our human nature to indulge in such habits. One of them being envy.
From dressing sense to marks, I've always compared myself to people. It is one of my shameful confessions that I've been jealous of the people around me which often paired up with a profuse apology to god and a request to not do any harm to the person I'm jealous of. Sounds strange, doesn't it?

According to some famous self help sources, this crippling envy is often formed due to a extraordinarily low self esteem. Personally, it has proved right. 

I may feel satisfacted in my marks, but someone else's extra one mark could ruin that happiness. I could feel confident in my body one sudden morning, and then another person's criticisization of that same body could ruin my mood. I could be proud of my personal development over the year but I would also purposefully berate myself by thinking " Does that even matter to anyone except you?'.  A simple statement in a bad tone had the capacity to overthink myself to death. 

Even though these experiences are not something that need to be shared proudly, but understanding that every person goes through a certain amount of envy helps overcome our own; because it makes you realize that you're not a 'monster' to think this way, but rather a flawed human who definitely has the capacity to become better. And this is the first step to overcome envy; acceptance. Most envious people are unable to simply accept the fact that they're experiencing jealousy. 

Some people use envy to boost their competitiveness and some to escalate others'. For many, this can be the second step. If you can't remove it, own it! You may even project it into something productive for your life. Although this can be harmful in the long run, it can help you fake it till you make it. After all, isn't it the famous quirk of humankind to make use of everything it has a problem with?

We're all improving ourselves somewhere and degrading elsewhere. Some of us have just started to realize this problem, and others may have even overcome it. Comparing ourselves in a good-bad scale based on just one of our many characteristics does not help us improve. A significant yet controversial statement that might help yourself is that a jealous person can be a brilliant person; and a person with no jealousy may not even be a decent one, since the only thing that differs them is their self confidence. 

Yet, a question does subside in my head, is envy as bad as we make it out to be? 

“Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty.” – François de la Rochefoucauld




Comments

  1. Nectar of life31 May 2023 at 19:41

    Nicely framed, sometimes a very common thing is unnoticed. Envy or any negative thoughts also have some positive aspect until unless it is degenerative. For example if we envy the sublime state of someone and try to achieve that then obviously we can be the winner.

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